I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.I can't touch any woman's handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public toilet.I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS for the email about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.I can't have a drink in a bar because I fear I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven. Ashley is another hot girl, which was not surprising since she was another cheerleader. She looks very similar to Lauren, with long brunette hair and a trim figure. Many people mistook them for sisters. She was wearing a half shirt which showed off her flat, smooth stomach and very short, cutoff jean shorts that exposed a lot of nicely tan and shapely leg (my inner horndog sprang to life at the sight of her incredible legs, I quickly shunned him back down and composed myself).“Oh, hi Jeff!” she said, smiling brightly.“Oh…um, hi Ashley” I stammered back. “I was just, um, I’m here to see Joe.”Ashley looked a little confused, I wasn’t sure why, until she spoke again. “He’s not here. He’s in California with his parents for the hockey tournament.”She must have noticed the look of confusion of my face, because she invited me in and called for Lauren. Lauren came around the corner to the front hall. She was wearing a pair a short, spandex shorts that fit her like a second skin, showing off.
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